


Pretend you love me and I'll fall for you

by MistakenSky



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Full Moon, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), OR IS IT, Slow Burn, Walburga Black's A+ Parenting, but kinda sad bc it's not real
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-12 16:20:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29263431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MistakenSky/pseuds/MistakenSky
Summary: There is a rumour going around Hogwarts that Sirius might be gay and, true to himself, he decides to fake a relationship in order to piss off his family. Remus and his very real feelings somehow get dragged into this mess.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 14
Kudos: 37





	1. Having the worst possible reasons helps you taking the worst possible decisions

**Author's Note:**

  * For [woIfstark](https://archiveofourown.org/users/woIfstark/gifts).



> Hello everyone! So glad you decided to click on this! I wrote this for one of my best friends (hello to my fellow Slytherin baby ilysm) and didn't hate it so I decided to post it. I'm almost done with the first draft and I'll update each chapter after I'm done rereading it, so it should go pretty fast. The whole thing should be a bit over 20k. I wanted to wait until I was done to post but life has been pretty hard lately and I was thinking that maybe some good vibes from ao3 could help lift my mood up.
> 
> English is not my first language so there will be some mistakes in this, please point them out in the comments so I can correct them, thank you in advance.
> 
> Last but not least, I absolutely hate JKR, we feminists do not claim her and we support trans rights, I'm just giving the characters she wasted a chance.

Sirius Orion Black didn't want to have anything to do with his family, that much was sure. Sometimes he thought that most of his personality was based on that, because he did everything he could to be different. But really, it was because he was different that he couldn't get along with them. After all, he really started to express himself, his real self, when he got to Hogwarts. Before that, his rebellion was a lot more hidden. It was fights with his parents, punishments, immense sadness and loneliness, but you couldn't really tell just from seeing him.

Now, everything was different. The messy Gryffindor uniform was an obvious clue, and so was his glorious mane as he called it -his pride and joy really, so far from the military haircuts that his mother used to allow. If you looked closely, there were also the metal rings on his fingers and, when one of the Gryffindor girls was feeling generous, dark make up around his eyes. Most of all, the muggles clothes he wore when the robes were not mandatory showed his disdain for his family values. His black leather jacket particularly made him recognisable amongst his pairs. His style was just the expression of his personality. He laughed loudly, made crude jokes, had annoyed every entity at Hogwarts at least once and went against every rule or code, no matter how implied. Sirius Orion Black was flamboyant, had a certain flair for the dramatics, everyone knew that.

The Marauders were quite famous amongst the students. _Popular_ could be debated, but they were _known_ , since they had been pulling pranks for six years now. So really, rumors about them were numerous, and they usually didn't pay attention, they laughed about it at best. But apparently, other people did pay attention.

“I almost didn’t recognize him when he approached… it has been years since we last talked.”

“Didn’t you hex him last week?”

“Well technically, we didn’t talk.”

The four boys were in their dormitory, bathing in the late afternoon sunlight. Sirius was laying on his bed, a hand put on his forehead like a dying young lady from a Shakespeare play. James and Peter were sitting on the floor next to him, sharing sweets. Remus sat by himself on the windowsill, a book that he wasn’t reading anymore still in his lap. Sirius was dramatically reenacting his encounter with Regulus, his little brother.

“He was so careful that nobody saw us… Probably followed me for a while or something. I swear I almost heard my father’s voice when he spoke. He had this _tone_ that made me want to slap him. He was going on and on about my inappropriate behaviour and I could tell he wanted to say something but for some reason couldn’t. I played dumb, saying I didn’t understand, so he would really say it.”

“And then?” asked Peter when Sirius took a pause.

“He cracked and told me to tone it all down, so people wouldn’t get a false idea.”

“What idea?” said James with a smile.

“Excellent question! I know because I asked it. Apparently, there is a beginning of a rumour going around, saying that I might be… queer!”

He gasped at his own words and James and Peter laughed with him. Remus however didn’t laugh. He did not think for a second that it was a funny subject.

“I somehow managed to hold in everything. I gave him my most stern face and said ‘Oh… I might have to inform my boyfriend then.’ and I swear he got even more pale. He was almost trembling with fury.”

The impression he was doing of his brother only made the other two laugh louder. Remus was too stuck on the ‘my boyfriend’ that fell so casually from Sirius' lips to react.

“I struck one final time by telling him I was thinking of taking him to our dumb family gathering thing, left before he could say anything, waited until the next corridor to laugh, and scene.”

James and Peter applauded until Sirius continued.

“Now I just have to find a boyfriend to piss him off.”

“You’ll just bring someone there randomly?” questioned Peter.

“I guess, why?”

“Or you get someone to play along for a while and you do not even have to take him there,” James offered. “A fake relationship. Best prank ever.”

“Would it be worth it? Just to rile him up?” Sirius hesitated.

“Well he’ll have this whole inner debate about whether to tell your parents or not,” said James. “Maybe even try to break you up and… for every person that believes in this relationship, I’ll give you a pound to spend on something dumb and maybe illegal.”

“Prongs, love of my life, this might be the best idea you ever had.” declared Sirius before kissing the top of James’ head loudly.

This was the worst idea Remus had ever heard blossoming in this dorm. And Merlin knows it had had a lot of competition.

“Who would be desperate enough to date you?” asked Peter, earning a slap at the back of the head.

“People will queue to get a chance you mean. I’ll have to choose myself. Someone I can tell about the whole thing, I don’t want to play with anyone’s feelings.”

_Too late_ , Remus thought.

“What about one of the Prewett? They’re fun enough to do it.” said James.

“They wouldn’t be the worst blokes to kiss, you’re right.” Sirius agreed.

The image provided by Remus’ brain was enough to make his heart ache.

“But I don’t know them that well… I’d rather do it with someone I trust completely. James…”

“Yes? No! What! No way! We’re brothers!”

“Wrong. We’re soulmates, so it’d work.”

“No it would be disgusting. And I really can’t, not when it would break my poor Evans’ heart.”

“She wouldn’t care.”

“Are you kidding? She’d think I changed my mind about our wedding, it would destroy her.”

Sirius opened his mouth again but Peter interrupted him.

“Do not even think about looking my way. You're gross and I’m so close to getting a date with Pandora, I cannot risk it. Especially for this.”

Sirius sighed loudly once, and then again, and again. Remus finally detached his eyes from the page to look at him. He was looking right back.

“Moony, Moons, Moonbeam…”

“No,” interrupted Remus, incapable of finding arguments.

“You wouldn’t be the worst choice,” interjected James. “You guys are close, physically too. You would just have to say you’re together and not change a thing.”

Remus hated James Potter. Mostly because he was right. Sirius and Remus were not close in the way Sirius and James were, but in their own special way. They shared the physical affection they were both deprived of for different reasons. They were always at ease with each other, the presence of one always calming the other when needed. They also had the habit to share a bed when one had nightmares, as both knew what it felt like. In many ways they acted as a couple. Which might be one of the reasons why Remus fell in love with his best friend.

Hearing them talk about being queer as a prank when he was himself sure he wasn’t straight felt like a punch to the stomach. Finding out you’re at least partly gay because of your roommate isn’t a fun experience. As if Remus needed another possibly life threatening secret. Ever since their first meeting, on the first day of their first year, he was always smitten with Sirius. What he thought was admiration turned into close friendship bonds and turned again into more on one fateful night, when Sirius took off his shirt during a party, panting because of his excessive dancing, and Remus thought he’d like to lick his neck. He was clearly disturbed. That wasn’t a normal friendship thought.

He couldn’t be Sirius’ fake boyfriend because he wanted nothing else than to be his real one. But he couldn’t say that. Because Sirius only wanted to be gay as a prank. He had no excuse and his brain didn’t bother to give him one. Maybe because he wanted to do it. Maybe he wanted a taste of what Heaven could be like, even for show. Maybe this would be a good chance to see if their friends were homophobic. Maybe he wanted to hold Sirius’ hand in the corridor and hug him at random times without giving an explanation.

Sirius got up and walked to Remus, before getting down on one knee and taking his hands.

“Remus John Lupin, would you do me the honor of becoming my fake boyfriend for a while to annoy my family?”

“... Okay.”


	2. The unexpected hardships of faking a relationship

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! I don't know if it's a good thing or not (depends on people I guess) but chapters get longer over time. Thank you for reading!

They started it the next morning. Remus didn’t really know what to do, since they had changed the subject quite quickly the night before. They didn’t have a plan and Remus hated not having a plan. He decided to just follow Sirius’ lead. Nothing happened in their dorm or on their way to breakfast, just casual friendly conversations. It put Remus on edge. He was constantly expecting Sirius to say or do something, anything, but nothing happened. They sat in their usual place. The only new thing was how close Sirius sat to Remus, as if any space between them would be wasted.

Remus was not a big fan of mornings. He needed about fifteen minutes to get out of bed, and about an hour to be considered awake. His whole body ached, he had trouble focusing on anything. His first class of the day was always complicated to get through. This morning, he could only focus on the warmth emanating from Sirius which made everything a little more bearable. The others were talking, but he wouldn’t have been able to say about what. He was using his arm as a pillow, slouched over the table. Suddenly, he felt a gentle hand on his back. He opened his eyes to see the way-too-close-but-cute-and-smiling face of none other than Sirius Black.

“Hey Moons, eat something or you’ll complain until noon,” he said with a soft voice while pushing a hot cup of tea towards Remus.

He groaned but raised his head. Tea sounded nice. Warm. Sirius gave him a little kiss right next to his ear and went back to his own breakfast. Remus drank his cup, hoping to hide his blushing cheeks from the others. Nobody said anything, probably too focused on their food themselves. All while maintaining the conversation, Sirius ate and managed to make several toasts for Remus. Multitasking before nine A.M was inhuman behaviour, if you asked Remus. But he appreciated the attention, a lot.

When they left to go to class, Sirius put an arm around Remus’ shoulders, and stayed that way until they had to sit. All day long, Sirius was attached to Remus. Sitting close in class, talking as discreetly as he could to compliment him during the lessons, touching him in small ways, and even hugging him before walking in charms. Remus just did his best not to freeze at every mark of attention and smiled to thank him. After years of repressing his feelings, letting go was complicated, even when he was encouraged to. He couldn’t help the shyness, but Sirius didn’t seem to mind.

The four of them were walking to dinner alone, when James made his first comments.

“I was so right when I said that you were physically close that no one even noticed any change.”

“We’ll give them time, it's alright,” Sirius answered with a shrug.

“Or you just go and snog him on the Slytherin table, they’ll get it then,” laughed Peter.

Remus almost tripped.

“They might, but Moony deserves a chivalrous boyfriend, I have to be on my best behaviour. We’ll see how it goes.”

And it went about the same. Sirius was full of attentions but nobody noticed. His new plan was apparently to whisper stupid pick up lines to Remus in the hope of making him smile. It worked. Finally, “ Are you from the moon? Because your ass is out of this world. ” got the best of him, and he choked on his glass of water. When he stopped coughing, Sirius put both his arms around his waist, giving him the least practical hug ever.

“You are… such an idiot,” said Remus when he could breathe again.

“I know, I’m sorry,” answered Sirius with a smile before kissing his cheek.

Remus was certain he would die of a heart attack before the plan could be of any use.

“Oi boys I didn’t know we had new lovers at the table today,” said Marlene McKinnon from her seat next to James.

She obviously meant it as a joke, she even giggled and so did others around her. She didn’t even say it to be mean, she just saw two boys affectionate with each other as a joke. A burst of anger chased away the shyness Remus felt until then.

“And what about it?” he asked coldly, holding Sirius’ arm in place.

“Nothing! I would have liked to know, is all.”

She was still grinning. She thought he was joking back.

“Finally!” exclaimed Sirius. “Now everyone knows my Moony is no longer single. It is I, the great Sirius who finally managed to steal his heart.”

The Gryffindors who were listening laughed again.

“They’re not joking,” confirmed James, but no one seemed to care.

“Come on Potter, as if.” insisted Marlene, rolling her eyes.

Remus liked her, usually, but he was beginning to hate her.

“I know you’re all jealous, but get used to it, I’m not letting him go,” said Sirius.

“Whatever, Black.”

Remus just got tired of it all. He had suddenly lost his appetite anyway, so he got up.

“I’m going back to the common room.”

He started to leave and a few seconds later, Sirius slid his hands in his and intertwined their fingers. Remus let him and they walked to the doors together. Remus saw Regulus looking at them, and felt his eyes on the back of his neck until they left the room.

He knew that Sirius could see he was upset. But now, after years of practice, Sirius knew when to speak of one of his bad moods, and when to comfort Remus without a word. This case fell into the second category. When they arrived in the empty common room, Sirius just asked him to stay in place and ran up the stairs, to the dormitory. Remus went to sit on the couch, glaring at the fireplace, and waited. Sirius came back down quickly, holding a book. More specifically, Remus current bedside book. Remus took it, a bit curious, and Sirius let himself fall on the couch. He spread his legs and put his head on Remus’ lap.

“Just read, I’ll bite anyone who comes too close.”

“Deal,” said Remus with a laugh. “Thanks Pads.”

They both got comfortable. While reading, he started to play with Sirius’ hair. It was a reflex really, something he discovered Sirius really enjoyed.

  
So they weren’t trying really. Remus reading, Sirius on his lap looking at him like he was the actual moon. They were in their own private bubble. But it was all it took to convince most of the Gryffindors when they came back after dinner. Everyone was careful as to not disturb them (and maybe James was guarding the area, who knows).


	3. Lily Evans, eighth wonder of the world

Remus was even more grateful for Lily Evans than he usually was. Constantly being the center of attention of the boy you were secretly in love with wasn’t easy. Especially when this boy was Sirius, who just had to get involved in anything at two hundred percent. Remus couldn’t go five minutes in his day without Sirius flirting or touching him. He had drawn the line at Sirius trying to convince him to use the prefect bathroom together. That was way above his limits. He hadn’t been able to avoid, however, Sirius pushing him against a wall while they were walking together to class a few days earlier. It was just the two of them, and Remus was so caught by surprise he didn’t react. Sirius had put both his hands on his waist, and Remus had felt their warmth through his robes. Sirius’ warmth altogether, if he was honest, because the other boy had gotten way too close for comfort. Remus’ breath was still caught in his throat when he heard the cold voice of Professor McGonagall taking points from Gryffindor for their inappropriate behaviour. Sirius had smiled, proud of his last minute plan, and stepped away only to tell McGonagall about “Moony’s ravishing looks” that apparently was impossible to resist. They lost five more points, but the professor had clearly been amused this time. Remus had just stayed still, leaning on the wall and trying to catch his breath.

Sirius was impossible to avoid, and it was driving him crazy. So Remus was grateful for two things : classes he and Sirius didn’t share, and Lily Evans. Ever since they had become friends, Remus and Lily had regular study sessions together. The others never joined, partly because they didn’t like to study and partly because Lily would never have let them. So at least once a week Remus could catch a break.

On that day however, something felt off. Lily was trying too hard like everything was normal. Remus knew she had opinions to share about his “relationship”, because she had an opinion on everything. That’s one thing he loved about their friendship, hours long conversations about various subjects. Sometimes they even had days long conversations, where they would exchange a few sentences at lunch, and then another idea while crossing each other in the halls. This time however, she only spoke about the transfiguration homework they chose to do. Remus let it go until the very end, only speaking while they were packing their things.

“Are you really not going to say a word?”

“What about?”

“Sirius! You have to be aware of the situation right?”

“Oh well,” she simply said while sitting back at the table. “I may have heard… and seen… things.”

“Right, and?”

“What do you want me to say? It’s another one of Black’s plans, right? I cannot figure out what he gets out of it, yet.”

Remus didn’t even hesitate. He felt bad about lying, but still wanted to hear her opinion.

“No it’s not. We are… a thing.”

He felt as if his heart would leap out of his chest at any given moment. The situation was fake but the coming out and the terrible fear of rejection was real. If Lily was repulsed, or anything like that… he would be crushed.

“Oh. Well erm… Do you want to talk about it? We don’t have to.”

“I guess I’d rather know now on which side you stand.” Remus said, his voice devoid of any emotion, trying to protect himself.

“Side of what?”

“He is a boy Lily, and so am I.”

The real words were too terrifying to say out loud.

“Oh my god Remus! I should have made it clear I’m so sorry! I don’t care! I mean… I care about you, and your happiness. That’s it.”

He exhaled for several seconds. She took his hands in hers.

“I love you Remus. It’s alright, we’re alright, promise. I guess I just wished you would have talked to me about it, so you didn’t have to carry that weight on your own.”

“I’m sorry, I was scared.”

“I know. Okay, maybe I also wished you didn’t fall for Sirius obnoxious Black but…”

She shrugged and Remus laughed a little. He knew that she disliked his friends, had known for a while. He also knew that since she got a bit closer to them, thanks to him, and since James was a bit less annoying with her, her hatred had changed in slight annoyance, and was again changing. She had had polite conversations with James on several occasions, and exchanged venomous-less banter with Sirius. She was even almost friendly to Peter.

“I wish I had a say in the matter too, to be honest.”

“Why is that? Is he not treating you well enough?”

She had a foot on the warpath already. She was almost as protective as James. They could bond over that someday.

“No he’s great. It’s just… it was hard, having feelings for one of my very few friends. I was constantly scared of ruining that. Doing or saying something that would make him understand. The possibility of rejection, or worse, if he followed the homophobic values of his family. ”

“I can only imagine. Good thing he has a thing for not being a follower. Well you would just have had to spend all of your time with me then. My friends love you so it would have been fun.”

“I guess.”

“But it worked out.”

“It did.”

“How? If you don’t mind me asking.”

They hadn’t really talked about the details of their relationship, so Remus had no idea what to say. He felt his cheeks heating up and hoped it would pass as embarrassment.

“We just… realised the feeling was mutual I guess. It’s not much of a story.”

“I see. Lots of making out then. And possibly Potter and Pettigrew barging in on you.”

Remus stammered for a while but then decided to stop trying. He didn’t have a story to tell, and at least like this she believed him.

“I get, obviously, why he is into you but why would someone like you be into him of all people.”

“You don’t know him like I do.”

“So you’ve told me. Many, many times.” she laughed.

“He… he cares so deeply. He does not have a family, not really, so he loves us like one. It’s great to feel loved. He understands what mood I’m in, and what I need without me telling him. He just knows because he observed us. He can cheer us up like nobody, but he also understands that sometimes we need to sulk, so he just supports us discretly. He makes me laugh. He would do… a lot for me. He already has done more than you could imagine. Plus he is objectively hot.”

Lily laughed a little too loud at that, enough to earn a glare for Madam Pince.

“Okay you’re really into him, I get it. Hearing you talk about him almost makes him sound bearable.”

“Wow, maybe I should answer James’ prayers and tell you about him then.”

“Please don’t we’re having a nice time.”

It was his turn to laugh, the relief washing over him. He had never spoken out loud about his true feelings. It was extremely liberating. He knew then that as long as Lily Evans was by his side, he would be okay. Even if he currently was running straight into a wall, and that he only had himself to blame for that.

They talked some more about nothing in particular, walked back to the common room together and split up there to get to their dormitories. Up there, Remus found his three friends in the middle of a seemingly important conversation.

“What’s going on?” he asked immediately.

With them, this kind of conversation could only mean mischief. Sirius looked at him, clearly upset.

“I was assaulted.” he said.

“You what?!” Remus walked to them, panicking.

“He is exaggerating,” intervened Peter. “Snape and some others sort of menaced him.”

“Sort of? Sort of!” Sirius was almost screaming. “They did menace me. Ganged up on me, pushed me in a corner and told me in terms I’m too polite to repeat that I had to stop being a fairy.”

“Shit Padfoot I’m so sorry, are you alright?” Remus asked, sitting next to Sirius, trying his hardest not to touch him.

“Yes, I’m great! The plan is working. Prongs owes me thousands already. Every time I see my brother he looks like he’s going to be sick, it’s awesome.”

After all these years, Remus knew how to see through his exaggerated happiness. He was a little shocked.

“What did they say they would do if you didn’t stop?” asked James gravely.

“I don’t even remember, who cares. We’re not stopping, this is the greatest prank we ever pulled.”

He was lying, not even looking at them in the eyes. James and Remus exchanged a look, and silently decided to let it go for now.

“In fact,” Sirius added with a devilish smile, “ I think we should do the opposite of that. Yep, we should definitely step it up.”


	4. How Quidditch suddenly became interesting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm using this fic to see all my favourites tropes in one work I'm so sorry (but thanks for reading this mess)

This simple phrase had been enough to make Remus panic a little. Even worse, Sirius had refused to say anything more, apparently needing time to “brew the perfect plan, and we all know you’re no good at brewing Moony”. For the rest of the night, he had just winked whenever he caught Remus glaring at him, which really didn’t help. He did share the first step of his brilliant idea a few days later. What he wanted was really just to make their relationship even more public, impossible to miss. Gryffindor had a match coming up against Hufflepuff, and Sirius wanted to take advantage of the situation.

That is why, on the morning of the match, Remus had put on one of Sirius’ quidditch jumpers. They had spent the morning in their dormitory, distracting James and Sirius from the game so they wouldn't stress too much and were now getting ready to go to lunch. The quidditch players had several different shirts for their matches, mostly to play under different weathers. The one Sirius gave him was quite warm but most importantly, it had the name Black in golden letters on its back. Remus was trying to look at it in the mirror. It smelled like Sirius and Remus was unconsciously hugging himself to feel it even closer. For a second, he could imagine that it was all real, that they were actually together. The name of Sirius marking him made him feel way more than what would have been appropriate. He liked the idea that with one look, everyone would know that Sirius was his. He realized how possessive and animal the statement sounded, and felt immediately guilty.

“Looks good on you,” said a voice behind him.

Remus closed his eyes for a second, this voice alone making him feel a bit dizzy. He didn’t even sound like he was joking.

“Thanks, I guess. You ready?”

“Yeah we were just waiting for you.”

Remus turned around and smiled back at Sirius. He had a weird look on his face that Remus couldn’t decipher. They stayed like that in silence while Sirius looked at him, until he suddenly exited the room, Remus following him. They walked to lunch with the others as if everything was normal, but Remus felt eyes on him all the way. James and Sirius ate quickly before leaving with the rest of the team. Everyone was grateful, as nerves always got the best of James Potter before a match, leaving him nauseous, irritable and generally unpleasant to be around. Remus just wished them good luck as they got up, and got two widely different reactions : “This has nothing to do with luck, Lupin.” from one, “Thank you Moonbeam.” and a kiss on the cheek from the other. Only one of those made him blush.

Remus wasn’t a fan of sports but always came to the Gryffindor matches to support his friends, even if he sometimes brought a book with him, just in case. He had a hard time comprehending the craze about it. Scoring was so unfair that it was all mostly a match between the seekers. All the rest felt quite useless. He supposed people came for the possible violence and fancy broom tricks. It was early enough in the year that James wasn’t yet losing sleep over complicated calculus of how many points they needed to score to get a chance for the cup (he had done the math already; he just wasn’t too stressed about it yet). Peter was always more enthusiastic than Remus, even attending the other houses' games with James and Sirius. They both walked together outside the castle, until Peter stammered a few sentences about going to sit with Pandora, the Ravenclaw girl he was trying to woo. Before he could answer anything, Remus was left alone. Salvation came in the form of Lily Evans, as it often does. She spotted him alone on the bleachers and immediately came to sit next to him, accompanied by her friends Mary, Marlene and Dorcas. They chatted lightly, making Remus feel less nervous about everything.

Finally, the players walked in on the pitch. Remus, trying not to stare at Sirius, made eye contact with James. He saw him register who he was sitting with, then elbowing Sirius with a smile and a probably stupid comment. Sirius looked up, saw them and gave Remus a beaming smile. Once again he felt his cheeks heat up. A few seconds later, the players got into position, and the game started.

“I’m not an expert at relationships,” said Lily, “but one would think couples who have been together as long as you guys have wouldn’t blush like that at every eye contact.”

“Did I ask for your non-expertise?” asked Remus.

“You kind of did,” she laughed. “You wanted my opinion a few days ago.”

They were interrupted by the referee blowing her whistle to signal a foul that Remus had missed. He continued once the game had restarted.

“Well that was last week, and I just wanted to see if you were the homophobic kind. You can keep your observations to yourself now.”

“You know I won’t. And honestly I just think it’s cute, you’re just really, really into each other. It’s probably what Muggles call the honeymoon phase, but it’s a great base for a good relationship.”

“Wow well, thanks Madam Evans, the most expert non-expert I’ve met lately.”

She just smiled and they watched the game silently. Quaffles were thrown, goals were made, applause were heard and players looked absolutely heavenly with their flushed cheeks, red robes and long dark hair floating behind them. All in all, it was a classic game. The scores were quite close. Judging by the seekers, the golden snitch was nowhere to be found. It was up to the other players to score points, and a tie made them frustrated. As a result, the game became more and more violent.

It was not the worst Hogwarts had seen, far from it, but frustration was released with insults, unnecessary impacts, and fouls were becoming more and more frequent. Remus didn’t detach his eyes from Sirius, almost praying for his safety. Serious injuries were rare here, but the risk was always looming. Suddenly, Lily jumped to her feet, startling him.

“James!”

Remus followed her gaze and saw the bludger coming straight towards him. He got up too, overcome with a wave of stress. If the outcry of the crowd or his sixth sense warned him, who knew, but James managed to avoid it at the last second. Apparently, the Hufflepuff beater had sent it on purpose, so Gryffindor got to shoot a penalty. While the players organised themselves, the public sat back down.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” asked Remus innocently.

“I don’t know what you are talking about.”

“Seeing the danger before anyone else, maybe because you were watching him? Or the relief on your face just now? Maybe just the fact that you didn’t call him Potter?”

“I’m just looking at the game, Lupin, don’t get any idea there is no subject here. We should talk about how Black marked you as his own and the way he looks at you with this on.”

“What… he… how is he looking at me?” Remus asked shyly.

“Like he wants to eat you for dessert.”

She was probably wrong, it only meant that she was buying their story, but the idea of Sirius looking at him like  _ that _ was enough to make his heart beat faster. He squirmed in his seat but didn’t dare to say anything else. James shot the penalty and scored easily. It took way more time for him to stop his victory laps.

The game went on for hours, if you asked Remus. Hufflepuff had taken the lead. He could see his friends getting a bit desperate. He did  _ not _ want to be around them if they lost. Suddenly Hestia Jones and Frank Longbottom, the seekers, both rushed towards the Hufflepuff’s keeper. The chase for the golden snitch had begun. They were so close it was impossible to determine who had more chances. They took a lap around the stadium, getting closer and closer to the ground. Before Remus could completely register what was going on, a goal was announced, and so was the end of the match. A heavy silence fell onto the stadium until the Gryffindor supporters started roaring. Frank was standing on the pitch, holding his fist in the air, in which Remus could see the golden snitch. He cheered with the others while all the Gryffindor players piled up on the filled, Frank disappearing under them.

Many students had gotten back inside, but most still lingered outside of the stadium, waiting for the players. Remus stayed with the girls until sudden noise made him turn towards the stadium. The Gryffindor players were here, hair still wet, jumping around. James got to Remus first and crushed him in a hug.

“Did you see that?” he asked, half screaming.

“Well yes Prongs, you did great.” Remus laughed.

He left his side to go bother Lily, and Remus turned around to see Sirius smiling at him.

“Hey Pads, you were great.”

“Great? I was bloody brilliant you mean! Tell me you saw that last goal?”

“Oh it was you? I was kind of watching the seekers to be honest.”

“Moony you are killing me!” complained Sirius dramatically. “I did it all for you and this is what I get?”

“I still think you were awesome, even without that.”

Sirius put his arms around Remus’ waist who in return did the same around his neck, like a reflex, like the most natural thing in the world. They hugged, softly, as if they were alone and not surrounded by half the school.

“Moony,” murmured Sirius against his ear. “Would it be okay… if I kissed you?” he sounded hesitant and immediately continued, way faster. “It’s alright if not, we didn’t…”

Remus didn’t let him finish and stepped away. He didn’t go far, just gave himself enough space to look at Sirius. He looked, for lack of a better word, very serious, with an inch of sadness. Remus didn’t wait any longer and gently put his lips on his, kissing him softly. He shivered. Nothing in the world existed anymore but Sirius, his lips, his hands, his warmth. When Remus ended the kiss, he looked at Sirius to gauge his reaction. He barely had time to register anything. Sirius was chasing his lips and kissed him again. It felt soft and passionate, it felt real. It wasn’t.

Remus was startled by a hand on his back and brutally brought back to earth. He and Sirius let go of each other immediately. James was smiling at them, looking a bit distressed still.

“C’mon mates we don’t have time for that. We have a whole party to attend. Do I need to chaperone you now?”

Remus put his hands in his pockets, just as much to hide their shakiness than to stop himself from grabbing Sirius. No good could come for that. He felt breathless, and was scared that everyone could hear his heart beating. He couldn't look at anyone, and even less at Sirius so he kept his eyes on the ground. James put an arm around each boy and started to lead them, the Gryffindors, and a few students from the other houses back to the castle.


	5. The most romantic platonic fake date ever, or something like that

Ever since the quidditch match, and the incident Remus didn’t even want to put words on in his head, he had a hard time being around Sirius. It was bad before, but now… He couldn’t hear his name or various nicknames without thinking about it. He couldn’t look at him without looking at his lips. He couldn’t touch him without shivering, remembering the warmth of his body against him. Of course, Sirius had noticed that something was off, but he couldn’t possibly imagine what it was and, thinking something was bothering his Moony, he just got even more affectionate. It was heavenly torture. Remus just got weaker and weaker, got used to the illusion, he started to almost believe it sometimes. Sirius’ smiles were too soft, he was too thoughtful, too perfect. Was he really that good of an actor? Everytime Remus tried to convince himself that there might be something, he was proven wrong. Sirius dropped his hand as soon as they entered the dormitory, he talked about some girl he thought was pretty, he jokingly flirted with someone, and it sounded real…

Going out to Hogsmeade got kind of boring after fourth year (especially when you could go whenever thanks to secret tunnels). Most of the students who were still going were either on a date or looking for various supplies. After all, not much changed in such a little village, especially since a new batch of over-excited customers arrived every year. On that particular week-end, the cold weather made it so you really needed a reason to go. No one wanted to wander aimlessly under the dark menacing clouds. Remus had no reason to go, so he slept late and had planned a quiet day with his friends, maybe some time in the library if they got too noisy. Sirius clearly had other plans when he sat down next to him at lunch.

“My dearest Moony.”  
“Oh my god, what have you done?”  
“Nothing! Why would you say that? You have so little faith.”  
“You gave me all the reasons to have none.”  
“Whatever. Moony dearest, would it please you to go on a date with the second best looking bloke of this whole school, ranking right after you, of course, considering that said date would be today, in Hogsmeade?”  
“You mean with you?”  
“Well I don’t mean with Peter, so…”

They both ignored the indignant squeak of their friend, one for the dramatic effect, the other because he was too flustered.

“I mean… yeah I guess. What do you have in mind?”  
“Way to sound enthusiastic. And I can’t tell you, or it wouldn’t be a surprise.”  
“Okay, I’ll just get some things from our room, and I’ll be there.”  
“I’ll come with. Wormy, be a dear and tell Prongs he will have to find entertainment on his own today. I believe Evans is free.”  
“Don’t tell him that!” interjected Lily who was listening, like most of the students surrounding them.  
“Of course master,” said Peter with irony. “Shall we also leave you the room for tonight?”  
“Na don’t worry, I’ll be a classy date and if Moony really insists, we’ll go to the astronomy tower, like most hormones riddled people around here.”

He was discretely mocking Peter, who told them how he tried to go there with Pandora, who left with what he didn’t know was a real reason or a false excuse. But Remus didn’t react, as his useless brain was stuck on the concept of making-out with Sirius in the astronomy tower. One could dream after all. They walked to their room in silence, Remus lost in his thoughts and Sirius uncharacteristically calm. When they got there, Remus started to get ready, looking for something warmer to wear.

“I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable,” said Sirius, breaking the silence. “We don’t have to do anything you know.”  
“Yeah… yeah don’t worry, I’m fine.”  
“You’re not.” he answered and Remus stopped what he was doing to look at him questioningly. “So sorry to break it to you Moony but your head isn’t even in the clouds now, it’s on the moon. You didn’t come to me for help so I don’t know what to do but I thought maybe going out for a bit without the whole gang could make you feel a bit better.”

Alone time with Sirius was the last thing that could help Remus.

“That is… very sweet of you.”  
“Don’t sound so surprised! I can do sweet.”  
“I know, Sirius, I know.” finished Remus before going back to look for his jacket which was maybe definitely lost.  
“Take that,” said Sirius.

Remus turned around to see his famous leather jacket in his hands.

“Are you sure? You usually don’t want anyone touching it.”  
“You’re not anyone. Take it.”

He approached to do so but Sirius took the jacket so he could help him put it on. Remus let him.

“Looks good on you Moony. You look a bit more like the ferocious beast idiots think you are.”

Remus just scoffed, trying not to think about anything and especially not how close he was. Or how this jacket made him feel oh so safe.

“Shall we?” he finally managed to ask.

Sirius acquiesced enthusiastically and they started to make their way to Hogsmeade. They took the official way, which was weirder for them than to take a dark passage under the school. It was refreshing. Remus kept his distance, and they talked all the way about harmless things, friendly things. Once the village came in view, Remus turned his head to look at Sirius. He was painfully beautiful, bathing in the soft light shining through the clouds.

“Where are you taking me?” he asked as soon as he could control his voice.  
“I obviously thought about Madam Puddifoot, so I could show you off but…”  
“I hate this place.”  
“I know. And so do I. So I started thinking, if this was actually a date, what would I do to make you swoon?”

_You could breathe in my general direction, it’d do the trick._

“My main goal would be to show you that I know you, and I care about you or whatever,” he continued and Remus smiled a little. “So of course I wouldn’t take you to the lair of fabricated feelings and awkward conversations. You’re worth much more than that.”

While they were talking, Sirius had led them in the village, up the main street, and stopped in front of Tomes and Scrolls.

“You… want me to buy a book?” asked Remus, quite lost. “You guys always make me come alone because you find it boring. I think you came here with me like… five times, maybe six.”  
“But if I were your date, I’d never say such a thing. I’d love to just watch you browse all these for hours and basically pet every book as if it was The Best Book you ever found.”  
“I don’t do that,” complained Remus, trying to hide his blushing face in the jacket.  
“Except you do. I saw it happen. And you can do that, it’ll calm you down, but we also have a goal here.”  
“And what could it possibly be?”  
“I choose a book for you, you choose one for me, we exchange when we get back and we would have to read it before the second hypothetical date. But in our situation it’s just a friendly gift.”

Remus opened his mouth but was at a loss for words. He just stayed there, mouth agape. He knew Sirius cared, but apparently he could also guess Remus deepest desires without him even knowing them. Anyone proposing this kind of idea would get a piece of Remus’ heart. Sirius just won the entire thing. And of course, to make everything worse, he had the audacity to laugh. A private little laugh that Remus only heard around the Marauders.

“Don’t worry Moons, I'll get you something good.”

He took him by the wrist and led him inside. There were books everywhere, some on the floor, some touching the ceiling. It looked like taking one book away from the shelves would make the whole room crumble. It was even hard to walk around. It was warm and comfortable. Remus loved this place even more than the Hogwarts library, he felt hidden and safe.

“Meet you here in… thirty minutes?” offered Sirius. “Unless you want to stay more. I just wanted some kind of challenge.”  
“I’ll be here in twenty.”

He was rewarded with a bright smile before Sirius disappeared in the shop. He knew exactly what to get him, and would need about two minutes to get it. He could use the rest to wander freely.  
Sirius had been right, it really was soothing. The silence, the smell, the abundance of books, the never-ending possibilities for new things to know. He did feel better when they met at the entrance. The books they bought were wrapped so they didn’t know what the other got, and Sirius put them both in the bag he brought. They got out. Remus wanted to take his hand.

“Where to next?” he asked instead.  
“You said you needed a new quill the other day, we could go get that.”  
“Alright.”

They went there and Sirius left him to choose, running off to another shop. He came back as soon as Remus was done, and they decided to go chase warmth in the Three Broomstick. While they walked down the street, Remus saw a group of students from different houses that he knew were more or less friends with Regulus and his lot. He suddenly got courageous. He had an excuse, didn’t he?

“Look who’s coming,” he said with a fake smile before taking Sirius’ hand in his.

He didn’t even flinch. He just intertwined their fingers and brought Remus even closer, smiling back. Remus felt his heart accelerate. The probably mean comments they heard and the eyes they felt on them didn’t even matter.  
They spent a couple of hours at a table of the Three Broomsticks, hidden in the back. It’s what they usually did with the others, it was their table. But everything was different now. It was just them. The conversation was easy, they laughed, they shared things they wouldn’t share with the other two. Remus felt like he was moving in a daydream. Sadly, Sirius said that they should walk back to the castle, breaking his bubble of softness. Remus stopped him quickly once they were outside.

“There is one more thing we have to do.”

Sirius looked lost and a little disappointed.

“I thought we did everything.”  
“Wrong. If this was a date, I would also make some efforts for you.”  
“Meaning?”  
“We should go to Zonko.”

Sirius’ smile was putting the sun to shame. He was almost hopping as they made their way to the joke shop. It was like going down the stairs with a child on Christmas day. When they left, a really slight drizzle made them hurry a little. They ended up running back, cursing that they should have gone through the secret passage, as the rain got stronger and stronger.  
They stopped in the hall, trying to catch their breath and laughing.

“If it was a real date, that would be the best kissing moment ever,” said Sirius as if he was talking about the weather.

Remus’ heart skipped several beats and he was left unable to answer.

“Hey Remus!” called a feminine voice behind him.

He turned around, hoping his distress wasn’t too visible. Lily and Marlene were walking towards them.

“We’re about to go study in the library,” continued Lily. “You’re welcome to join.”  
“Actually,”interrupted Sirius while putting an arm around Remus’ shoulders, “we were about to have some sort of study date. I’m sorry ladies, he’s not available anymore.”  
“Poor Remus has to tutor you now, that’s a double sentence.”

Sirius only gave Marlene a fake smile and led Remus to their common room.

“Do you actually want to do homework, or do you just like to piss Lily off?”  
“Both! We have a potion essay, you’re rubbish at potion so I thought we could do it together.”

Remus could actually handle the theoretic part. All his troubles came in the presence of an actual cauldron. But it meant more time with Sirius, so he wasn’t about to say that.

Once he was really motivated, Sirius was good, no, great, at doing his homework. Without that, he was already one of the top students of their year, if he actually worked hard, he could probably achieve anything. His explanations actually helped Remus understand some things better. Never once did he lose focus or tried to get out of it. Remus fell in love all over again.  
When he got back in their room that night, he found, hidden under his covers, the wrapped book and a box of his favourite chocolates from Honeydukes. Heart beating fast, he unwrapped the present. There were two books inside. One was an old, magnificent, way too pricey, book about the linguistics and origins of spells. He had looked at it every time he went to the shop, mesmerized and a little heartbroken over the price. The other was smaller. It was a short collection of muggle tales. Those stories that made magic feel magical. He remembered Sirius telling them he had somehow got his hands on some muggle fairy tales as a child, and had loved every word of it. Remus was speechless, breathless. His love for his best friend was overflowing.

“Pads?” he called. “That’s… too much but… thank you so, so much.”

He didn’t hear an answer so he looked behind the curtains of his bed. Sirius on his own bed, eyes on the book about wizards and witches who became music idols in the muggle world open on his lap. He was smiling, because of the book or his comment, Remus didn’t know, but it warmed his heart all the same. Sirius was really good at this fake dating thing.

**Author's Note:**

> For those of you who like playlists I did make one for this fic, but it's mostly songs that remind me of the characters or what I listened to while writing so it's not directly related to the story : https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2jMK8Ah0KwM2HkdYn542bg?si=Rhph4lSGQRmawxsPbTHfDg


End file.
